Earlier this week I had a God moment...You know, those times when He reaches down in a very tangible way to let you know He is a very present part of your life? Those moments that crash through the mundane and change an ordinary day into an extraordinary one? It was a morning like any other, I woke up, read my Bible, wrote in my journal, and spent some time in prayer before going about my regular morning routine. I was feeling pretty good about the day so far, but while I was drying my hair I felt like I was being attacked. Like Satan had a huge bag of ugly words that had been spoken against me and to me and was hurling them at me like arrows. My heart started to ache and tears started to sting my eyes as they fell down my cheeks. Where was all this coming from? Why were all these conversations and hurtful words coming up now, seemingly out of nowhere? It was only 7:30 in the morning and this is not how I wanted to spend this day.
I had recently started a mind detox and my meditation was about needing to speak only soft, gentle words of edification to and about people. I have felt like I had fallen into a trap of negativity and my desire is for my words to be seasoned with grace. And now, all of a sudden I am being attacked with all these words that were anything but graceful. Why are people so mean and cruel? Why can't people just be loving and accepting? Where is the love that Christ shows? All these thoughts were racing through my mind as I felt the wounds of the words pierce through my soul.
I thought of the verse, that if we cry out to the Lord, He will save us. So I cried out to Him, "Lord, help me! Give me a word from You!" I knew I needed to open the Word but I did not know where to go in it. Ecclesiastes 7:21 entered my mind as clearly as if it had been spoken. I spoke the reference out loud. "Ecclesiastes 7:21?" I asked. "Yes." I heard just as clearly. I plopped myself on my bed and opened up my Bible to that reference. I felt the Spirit calm me as I read. "Also take no heed unto all words that are spoken; lest thou hear thy servant curse thee." I sat there in silence. I read it again and again. Could there have been a clearer passage for God to send me to after being attacked with the memory of words? I was in awe of my Savior. Then He said, "Don't stop there, you need the next verse also. I read on, "For oftentimes also thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise hast cursed others." Again I sat in silence and awe as I read that verse again and again.
In that moment where I had been attacked, I now felt free. I felt Satan turn around and flee as God used His hand of comfort and conviction to silence some ugly words that had been spoken to me and by me. He showed me that I needed to let go of those words that were spoken against me, but I also needed to let go of the words that I had spoken against others. As others had harmed me with their words-I had also harmed others with mine.
Let the ugly words go...All of them. The ones spoken to me and the ones I have spoken.